Last week, Emily told us that she had told a friend "our story". She had recanted how Trouper and I met and were friends for a long time before we were anything else. It was heartwarming to hear that she respects our love story so much that she tells it to people, and that we've been able to set an example for her, and maybe for her friends as well.
So, in honor of Em sharing our story, I will tell you my version, which might be different from Trouper's but honestly, mine's probably better.
I can't remember when I didn't know Trouper. He, on the other hand, can tell you the day he met me, what I was doing, who I was with and where I was. Sometime in middle school (or junior high for you Texas folks) he was there. He had long (in his eye) hair, carried a skateboard everywhere, wore vans and read Thrasher magazine. I, on the other hand, had big Texas beauty pageant hair, carried a designer purse, wore penny loafers and read Seventeen magazine. Total opposites. While some girls were enamored by the skateboarding guys "bad boy" attitudes, I simply thought they needed a haircut and some shopping in the Ralph Lauren department at Dillards. However Trouper was different. When I talked he listened (or he appeared to listen). He didn't care if droned on for an hour about a new pair of jeans I got, or if I told him I was upset because my beloved Papa was sick and in the hospital again. He just seemed happy to be spending time with me, and never asked for anything in return. When my first boyfriend broke up with me, to go out with a much prettier older girl (who drove a Porsche no less) Trouper told me he was stupid and assured me the other girl was going to break the boy's heart and I would get a good laugh when karma visited. He always knew what to say to make me laugh. He told me about his family, about living in Georgia away from them, and I told him about my family and about wanting to live with my Grandparents. For some reason, I could tell him anything and he never judged. As the years went by, I dated his friends, he dated mine. Whenever they would break my heart, or I broke theirs, he would just listen to my stories and give his opinion. Don't get me wrong, he has never been afraid to share his opinion, even if it pissed me off but he always gave me advice and shared his opinion in a sweet and kind way.
When we were in high school, Trouper's family made the decision to leave our little West Texas town and move to Atlanta. I was devastated. Who was going to be my sounding board, who was going to go eat at Taco Villa with me every Sunday and who was going to lick my window every time he got out of my car? At the time, I was in a long term relationship with the person I thought was my soul mate (doesn't every 18 year old think they've met their soul mate?) but the news that my BFF Trouper was leaving was nothing short of devastating. We made a promise to write, to call one another and to be friends forever. And guess what, we kept that promise. He would send me poems, and include mix tapes filled with songs from the Moody Blues, The Cure, and the Black Crows. I wrote him long letters, catching him up on all the happenings around town, and always included pictures of me and our friends. We talked on the phone once in a while, but long distance was still long distance back then and cost an arm and a leg.
In the fall of 1991, my beloved Papa left us. My heart was broken but wouldn't you know it, just when I needed him, Trouper appeared. He called me and said he was about to load a Greyhound Bus and would be in Texas in two days. He was going to move in with family friends and finish high school in Texas. Suddenly, my confidant, my Taco Villa buddy and my window washer was back. Don't get me wrong, things had changed. I was still in a relationship and my boyfriend was now in college in another town and I was in college and working full time. I think (he will have to let you know this part) that Troup thought I would drop my life, my boyfriend, and be his forever. Truth be told, if he had asked, I might have done just that but life went on and he partied with his high school friends while I concentrated on school, friends and work. We still saw one another often, he would show up with Reece's Cups and a tale about some girl throwing herself at him, and I would complain about my adult problems. He was one of the first people I told I was pregnant, I remember him asking, because he had heard a rumor. I won't get into all of that but I will say he never judged, never tried to sway me or make me feel bad, just listened. He was at the hospital, with Taco Villa, the night Ryan made his entrance into this world and told me that Ryan was the most beautiful baby he had ever seen. He held my hand for hours, watching TV with me and trying to make me laugh. Shortly after that, he asked me and Ryan on an official date and we said yes. No, we didn't go to Taco Villa, but we did stop by there for ice cream on our way home. Our first kiss was a few weeks later (I initiated it, thank you very much) and he graduated the next month, and we have been together ever since. We were married December 5, 1992 in the same church where we met, in front of the same friends we had since childhood, two kids ourselves with big dreams and hopeful hearts. Emily made her entrance three years after we married and made our family complete.
Have the past 21 years been a walk in the park, no they haven't. Would I trade one second of the past 21 years, no I wouldn't. Today, we are strong in knowing that family is truly all you have in this world. Our family includes lots of "blood relatives" but also many friends who've become family over the years. I'm so proud of what we've built, and yes, some days are better than others but at the end of those bad days, I'm just happy that Trouper took a bus to Texas, and that I finally realized that best friends make the best relationships.
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