Trouper and I just returned from a ten-day trip to Texas. We
had a wonderful time filled with lots of laughter and love. In a way, I think I
had forgotten how good it feels to laugh, and that people think I’m just as
funny as Trouper, although my sense of humor is a bit more (okay a lot more)
sarcastic than his. It’s comforting to be around people who knew you when you
were 8 and know secrets about you that you dare not tell your adult friends.
There was a moment when a few of us had converged on Sheila’s hotel room; I was
laying on the bed catching up on texts and emails, Kevan was typing something
for me and Sheila was working on the remembrance tree that actually brought
tears to my eyes. When you live so far away from your friends and family, the
ordinary, small moments are huge. To have the opportunity to spend a few days
with my lifelong pals was just what the doctor ordered and I will never forget
a moment of the trip.
The Wednesday we left we had a late flight. I had been
working for weeks on various projects and was exhausted. In a week’s time, we
had Trouper’s surprise party, visit from out of town guests, a 2-day VP meeting
at my office that I was solely responsible for and final class reunion planning. Not to mention packing and
planning to be out of town for ten days. When we boarded the plane, all I
wanted to do was sleep but my brain wouldn’t turn off and my excitement was at
an all-time high. I looked over at Trouper who, as most of you know, can sleep
anywhere anytime, and watched him sleep and I cried. Probably from exhaustion
but for a minute, fear and reality snuck into my head and I kept thinking this
might be the last time we go home together. Yes, I always try and remain positive
and keep telling myself and everyone around us that someday (and hopefully
soon) we will get a heart and be headed back to spend our remaining years in
Texas. However, in that moment, I let my guard down and cried. He must have
sensed that I was crying because he opened his eyes and asked me
what was wrong and why was I crying. I just said I was tired and happy to finally
have some time off but he knew better. He asked again when we got
to my Mom’s and turned in for the night, and I just ignored him and said good
night. I was afraid to tell him what I was really feeling, that I had let my optimism
shield down and that for a few minutes I was overtaken by reality. But I can’t
live in that dark place so I did what I do best and pushed the bad back down
and moved forward.
The ten days flew by and even with our middle of the night hospital
visit to the Eastland ER, were pretty uneventful. I will say, about our ER
visit, that if you have to spell LVAD to the nurse, you probably need to go
elsewhere for your healthcare. Trouper got to visit with lots of his old gang
and I was sorry I missed out but I had reunion stuff going on and kept busy. I went
to an OHS pep rally and I have to say that the drum circle is still my favorite
part. The gym seems a lot smaller and they really need to invest in some lawn
care but the visit to the school was one of the highlights of the trip. Of
course we made several visits to Taco Villa, one to Rosa’s, one to Mercado’s
and a few to Whataburger. I gained three pounds (was down 30 pounds when I
left) but it was worth it. We got to
visit our friends and spent time with our families, including my almost 91-year
old Grandma Dorothy. She suffers from dementia and constantly asked me who I
was and where I live and, on a few occasions, asked me how I knew Trouper. We
took her to the cemetery when we visited my brother and Jackson and she got mad
because I spent too much time at my brother’s grave. Such sadness when your
body outlives your mind but I was happy to spend time with her even when she
didn’t know who I was or why I was wanting to hold her hand.
Our trip can be summed up in one word; roots. We explored,
visited and made peace with our roots. We laughed, we cried and we embraced a
special place in time. We remembered where we’ve been so we can move forward
into where we are going and, for a small moment, we were carefree and young
again.
One last thought about Odessa. Yes, it’s an oilfield town
and sometimes there’s a boom but more often there’s a bust. Yes, it’s brown and
there’s no water or trees. But it has heart. People smile, shake your hand and
hug your neck. Chances are when you’re in WalMart, you will see someone who
knows your Mom, your Grandma or was your 2nd grade teacher. Your
elementary school still stands and the line at Southern Maid Donuts still
wraps around the corner, long after breakfast has ended. Your heart still skips
a beat when you see the Friday night lights from Ratliff and after the game;
Taco Villa is still open so you can buy a combo burrito (no sauce, extra
cheese). It’s your history, your roots, all rolled into one town. I am an
Odessan, and will always been an Odessan, no matter where my life takes me.
