Every Day

Trouper emailed me a copy of his "health summary" today, just in case I ever need it. It lists medications, surgeries, procedures, hospital stays, doctors and pages and pages of information. Nothing too out of the ordinary, except for one small sentence "heart replaced by heart assist device". I bet not too many people have that listed in their medical records but for the past two years, my courageous husband is one of a handful of people living without a heart. He received his LVAD on August 29th so over the weekend, we quietly observed his 2nd LVAD-avversary. I will never forget his doctor coming in the morning before and telling us that Trouper would receive his LVAD the next day. We didn't really have time to process or think about much, just enough time to update our families and friends, for me to make arrangements at my office, and get settled in for a long recovery.

What stands out the most, to me, was our doctor stating that the LVAD would be good for 2-5 years, and, as I mentioned above, we just celebrated 2 years. Are we anxious and scared, you bet! Do we pray for a new heart, multiple times a day. Those things aside, we also celebrate the life that Trouper has been given. The LVAD has allowed him to be a husband, father, son, brother and friend. He's watched his children become adults. It's allowed him to lead a fairly normal life, as normal as you can live with a machine working for your heart. It's caused him pain though, pain I can't even describe and truth be told, don't know a lot about because he tries to shield the kids and I from the pain he suffers. I see it in his face, especially his eyes. When his batteries get low, and start to beep, I can hear his frustrations. When he has another hospital stay, I can feel his anxiety. When he sleeps, though, I can hear the soft hum of the machine that is keeping him next to me and for that, I'm eternally grateful.

Today, I want to thank each and everyone of you. You know I'm a song person, so today's song is EVERY DAY by Rascal Flatts. Every day, I'm beyond thankful for my friends and family, for recognizing when I need a little motivation, for listening to my complaints and gently reminding me I have so much to be grateful for. For visiting, calling, texting and emailing but most of all, every day I'm grateful that you pray for us. Join me in celebrating our happiest of happy LVAD-avversary and knowing that a new heart is on the horizon!

From the man himself....

Everybody asks me to update Dara's blog, but it is hers and her outlet and she does an awesome job. However, I am going to break the rules this one time. I couldn't sleep last night...as usual and I decided to watch a movie that I have been wanting to see. It is based on Stephen Hawking's life and is titled "The Theory of Everything". If you know me, you know I'm a big old nerd and Stephen Hawking is the King of the Nerds. The movie is about time and the trials he and his wife faced with his battle with ALS. The comparisons I saw in my own life were uncanny...not that I'm near as intelligent as Stephen or that my own personal health issues are comparable to his fight and struggle with ALS. He and his wife never gave up and tackled every challenge, all while raising three kids. The sacrifices his wife made are eerily similar to the choices Dara makes for us every day. She gets up and goes to work at the crack of dawn, takes care of all the financial and medical decisions and issues, is raising two kids and getting one of them through college. She still stops at the store on the way home, comes home to make sure dinner is going, if not does it herself, and then goes to the gym. We truly are blessed to have her in our lives and I wanted to take this opportunity to say it...I love her. I always have, ever since I first laid eyes on her at church when we were just kids. The movies underlying theme was time...the subject that Stephen Hawking's life work and books were based upon. There never seems to be enough of it in the day, and when you're waiting on a heart transplant you learn to look at everything differently...especially time. We have faith and know that we will get a heart...in God's time. We just have to be patient. At the end of the movie, Stephen Hawking was invitied by the Queen to receive an award and he brought his wife and kids. His wife thanked him for making it a special day...he smiled and looked at his kids which were running around and playing and said "look at what we created". In the end, you only have so much time, use it wisely because we can't go back and we can't get more. In the end, you only have love....the love you give and the love you receive. I am a very lucky man as you can see, I may not have all the time in the world but I love with all my heart and my cup runneth over with the I love I have received.

~Trouper